I Died & 'Cats' Was My Personal Hell

Hello, my dear reader. I'm back.
Actually I never left, you just have been missing all my posts and that sounds like a personal problem of yours and not at all a result of my inconsistency problems and commitment issues to my endeavors. Either way, I've missed you greatly.

Let’s catch up!

halloween 2019, I'm sorry I didn't do anything special
on here this year

What happened since my last entry on here is, well, nothing much and too much, all at once. I've managed to conquer my fear of writing things that are deeper than just stories about blood spewing or blog entries about how Oprah was supposed to star in the Human Centipede. That's not a diss to Doltish Horror, though! Absolutely not. I love it here and I'm so proud of my posts, I still get people asking me about where my blog went, which I always answer with "I lost inspiration", which is untrue. Let me confess a sin, my personal life prevented me from being active on here. 

Correction: I let my personal life get the best of me.

Anyway. What else happened?
Well, I've officially been working at a magazine for the past six months. Yes, a real magazine. My name gets printed monthly in an actual, legitimate publication. Wild. I love it there too. eniGma Magazine, in case you want to check it out. It's a dream come true to be writing for a living. It's weird too because I never in my wildest dreams thought it was something plausible. But here I am! See, I haven't been a total bum since I've deserted you.

What else...

Oh yeah, I watched Cats.

she looks like a mosquito

Okay, no I didn't. I tried to, though, and the first twenty minutes terrified the living shit out of me. Me, terrified. I watched all nine Halloween movies in October 2018 but couldn't get through twenty minutes of human beings horribly CGI-ed as cats... and for some reason, cockroaches and rats too!

It got me thinking... If I were to die, would this be my personal hell?

Would this be how my soul would be tormented for all of eternity? Would it be by me actually living in the Cats world, or me watching Cats on a loop forever? For some reason, I can't tell which would be worse.

Anyway...

I'm glad we could catch up, and I'll be back again next week with more. I have so many ideas again, and I cannot wait to execute them. Ever since I died watching Cats, I feel like I've been reborn, and new Ezz gets shit done.

A Doltish Poem (for Ghostface)

I can see your eyes rolling,

Yes, I'm back.

I know your instinct is to just keep scrolling,

But, Please, relax!

I haven't posted in a while,

You probably haven't missed me

and you haven't felt a lack.

But, I'm back.

I know I'm not the best,

Not by a mile,

But, I try.

And I'm back.

This is not a poem or a song,

wasssssuuuuuup!!

This is a dedication

For the one who once took a hit off a bong.

Like a ghost, 

He lingers.

He's a movie star, 

He's a vicious killer,

He's a She sometimes,

and they all leave a scar.

Johnny Dep- I mean, Billy Loomis

His cloak and white face,

Oh so familiar.

Not prejudicial, though

He doesn't see race,

Anyway, he'll kill ya.

He can be charming,

Or look like a Johnny Depp.

Wait, shit,

This comparison was too real,

quite alarming...

He walks with face,

He kills with  grace,

He stabs in place,

For living,

He leaves no space.

Grace 

We love him,

We do.

This song and poem,

are for ghost face.

We love you,

We do.

He's back on VH1,

just for 3 days.

Go watch him slash

and chase.

Me and Ghostface, we're both back.

Horror Film Facts You Probably Didn't Know!

Forgive me, readers, for I have procrastinated.

I haven't posted in nearly a month now, I'm well aware. Not that any of you even care or read this shitty blog but I made a commitment to posting regularly and I failed yet again, oops. I wish I could say I was busy doing something, but I wasn't.

Anyway, fuck this, who cares if I post or not? I'm posting now so here it is. I've done extensive research for this post, searching for fun facts about horror movies that aren't too common because I want to keep this fresh and original.

I found 5 facts though that I was surprised I had never read or heard about before. And if I haven't heard about them, then you probably haven't either.

(First of all.. Follow the blog by pressing the blue follow button, hehe, it would mean the world.)

1: Samara from 'The Ring' was inspired by the Disney Princess 'Repunzel':

Ehren Krugers the genius screenwriter behind this horror classic also happened to write the third installment in the Scream franchise, which is my favorite. When asked about his inspiration for the main antagonist of the film, the wet, pruney, long haired Samara, Kruger answered saying "Well, the movie is based off the Japanese original of the same name. However, for me personally, When I was writing the character of Samara, especially the human version of her in the flashbacks, I pictured her as having the same essence of a Disney princess, particularly Repunzel."

2: 'Chucky' was going to be A Disney production:

Your favorite childhood nightmare and the reason almost all children are terrified of dolls 'Chucky' or 'Child's Play' was almost sold to Disney. Disney had other plans for the main plot though. Instead of a murderous possessed doll, they wanted Chucky to be a needy toy who got rid of all of the child's other toys... *cough* Woody.

3: Kathy Griffin original pick for the role of 'Pennywise':

The outspoken and controversial comedian and actress was originally cast as the demonic shape shifting, child eating, clown--Pennywise, in the blockbuster 'IT.' the remake of the original by the same name. However the makers of the film had plans to make the 2017 version a more feminist modern version after the news of the first female Colonel Sanders for KFC came out, they wanted a female Pennywise. And who was clown enough to do it? Unfortunately, after the Trump decapitated head scandal, she was fired from the film.

4: Sharknado!

Fun FACT! Sharknado is the best horror film of all time. That's all. I cannot wait for Sharknado 18.

5: Oprah in The Human Centipede:

Shocking, right? Winfrey had a great interest in being a part of the cast of the horror CLASSIC and the ever thought-provoking and touching film--The Human Centipede. In case you're not familiar with the plot, it tells the story of a deranged man who kidnaps a group of individuals and surgically stitches their heads to each other's asses. The casting director, though, felt that Oprah wasn't equipped acting wise to be part of the film, and rejected her participation. 

That's all the facts I have for you today. They're all a 100% real and not at all fake. I dug very deep to find them so I hope you enjoyed. Don't forget to press the blue follow button there on the right and leave a comment if you'd like, it would mean the world.