I know I know... the past couples of days were probably insufferable for you all without me. If you're new here, hello, I'm Ezz and I have no life. WELCOME!
Yesterday was a very exciting day for me. I got to do something I have always wanted to do, but never thought I actually would/could--I interviewed a ghost.A lot of you will probably dismiss this as click bait to get you to read about something you probably have no interest in. However, I kid you not, I sat down with a real life ghost for a lengthy in depth interview. For the purpose of keeping my tactics and techniques private and so none of you bitches try to do this too, I will not be telling you how I got to meet this lovely spirit, but let me tell you this: it was NOT fucking easy.
The interview took place in the privacy of my own room.
I'd lie and say it was a chilly foggy night or raining or some shit like that to set the mood but it was actually hot as balls.
He (the ghost) scheduled the interview with me for 2:33 A.M., oddly specific, I know. As the clock was nearing 2:33, I felt like I needed to tinkle. I thought it would be fine for me to go take a leak, I mean how on time can a ghost be?
The answer is exactly on time.
I came back to my room to find my dead company for the night sitting on my bed, cross legged and aggravated by my lateness. I apologized, of course. Just because someone is dead doesn't mean they don't deserve respect.
He later explained to me in an angry manner that although in my realm I was only late for a minute, in his it was actually ten years (time operates differently when you're dead). Thinking it would be inconsiderate to waste anymore of his eternal years (minutes for me), I took out my pen and notepad and begun the interview...
Would you like to start by introducing yourself?
I'm Paul.
Tell us more about yourself, Paul...
Nah, I'm good.
Uhm, Okay. So Paul, what's like to be dead?
That's a stupid question.
Okay, but can you answer it?
Don't really feel like it, to be honest.
You're name's Paul, though. Are you not Egyptian?
Nah, I'm from Illinois, fam. You can go anywhere when you are dead. Also, you're very boring. Why is your room a mess? I peeked inside your closet and who the hell still owns polo shirts?
I don't wear them, okay? Moving on... Have you gotten to meet any dead celebrities?
Hell yeah, I met JonBenet Ramsey, I know who killed her. Not my murder to discuss, though. Believe it or not, she's actually pretty tight with Adolf Hitler. Met him once myself, and let me tell you... the man is into some kinky shit. Cool dude, though. I also got to hang out with Avril Lavig-- never mind.
Avril Lavigne?
Next question, please.
Alright... Do you have any hobbies?
Yes, being interviewed isn't one of them. Can I leave, now?
No, I still have a couple of questions left...
Ignoring what I said, Paul the ghost, stood up and started gathering his things before vanishing into thin air. Leaving me baffled by the discoveries I have made about the other side and Avril Lavigne.
So this was my interview with Paul, the ghost. What you read was all real and not at all work of fiction nor was it a friend of mine wearing a white sheet. I get goose bumps thinking about last night and I bet you will too. Paul was nice and I bet we'll be seeing more of him on the blog in the future.
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