The Earth Is Flat: Confirmed!

Hey readers, long time no see.

I know, an entire month without yours truly. You've missed me, I'm sure. I'm positive your poor pathetic lives were lacking in Ezz and my thought provoking, very necessary and completely important blog posts. I apologize, I was really busy having the time of my life failing finals and watching Ramadan shows. No procrastination at all.

Anyway, today's post is a very critical subject. In fact, it's a crazy wild one that many of you won't believe, and that i personally didn't believe myself for the longest time either.

I was watching Shane Dawson's conspiracy video when he started talking about the Flat Earth Society. At first, it seemed ridiculous. However, upon thinking deeper about the subject I have come to terms with shocking revelations...

Planet Earth is flat.

In case you're not familiar with the Flat Earth Society, it is a group of mostly white, middle aged, highly educated and very smart heterosexual men who believe that the Earth is flat and not round. And they are absolutely right. I have my reasons, aside from white men always being right, I'll explain to you why...

1: Where's the curve?

If planet earth is round then... why cant we see a curve? Bet you've never thought about that... Did they ever explain this to us when we're children when they were brain washing us into thinking the earth is round?

2: If the earth is round is spinning then how come we're not falling?

We've all asked our teachers this question when we were children and they always answered with "gravity". Well that seems pretty illogical to me because in case you all forgot, Isaac Newton was an adult virgin who had a fascination with apples and probably pulled a Call Me By Your Name with one of them fruits. I'm just saying.

So, why the hell aren't we falling? If I'm upside down right now, how am I still in bed writing this and not falling through space heading towards the moon?


Anyway, I think this is enough for today. You can all accept what they are shoving down your throats, or actually take the time and think about what you just read and the very convincing reasons I offered you. Pfft, the Earth is round... yeah right? What's next? The moon landing is real? Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus are two different people? NASA, we're onto you. How can anyone trust NASA if they change their minds about Pluto being a planet every 5 mins?

 

Pluto looking fresh AF, so who's a planet now, huh, NASA?

Think about it... and until next time.