A Fair Warning (And Hi!)

At last we meet, my fellow non-existent readers.
Before I start off this weird, terrifying journey that I hopefully will stick to, I'd like to disclaim a few things...

1. This is a safe zone for anyone that feels utterly stupid.
2. There will be cursing, if you, good sir, are not comfortable with that... kindly fuck off.
3. Skeptics are assholes (yup, another curse word and we're only one post in.) This isn't a disclaimer, more of a fact. Sorry.
4. What you are about to witness is extremely doltish. I will not explain what doltish means; google it yourself.
5. I appreciate all comments, mean and nice; they show you've actually read what I've wasted time writing.

Now, without further ado...

LET THE BULLSHIT BEGIN!!!

P.S.: If you're reading this, I'm sorry for your brain cells.