Beyoncé Isn't Real: Anti-Christ Confirmed!

My anxiety wrecking my last functioning brain cell.

The other day I was up late watching Lemonade, the visual album by acclaimed artist Beyonce Knowles (available now on iTunes!) *wink*. Amidst my mourning of my imaginary failed marriage and my hatred for my made-up cheating partner, I got to thinking about Beyonce herself. As a wife, a mother, a daughter and a married advocate for Single Ladies everywhere (available now on iTunes!) *wink*. 

I started thinking about Beyonce's three children, Blue Ivy specifically. And suddenly... it hit me. Miss Carter here isn't who she says she is. We all knew something was up with her, we just never guessed what. Maybe it was the fact that she married Jay-Z and somehow pretends he's not ugly?

But yours truly has figured it out. It all came back to one little girl with much bigger power than any of us anticipated. 

She sees right through your soul...

That's right, none other than Blue herself. The charming 6 year old we have turned into a meme is the source of Beyonce's new-found excellence. In case you haven't noticed, Bey has released her 2 best albums since Blue's birth. And I don't think all the credit can go to Bey herself or any of her 74 co-writers. I believe the credit is due to little Ms. Blue Ivy Carter... THE ANTICHRIST!

Yup, you heard it here first, Blue is in fact the Antichrist and the twins are her minions. She thought them into existence (her mind!) because Bey had the stomach to sleep with Jay once to have Blue, but it surely wasn't going to happen again.

Blue has been controlling Beyonce since birth, having Bey under her hypnosis. Telling her what lyrics to write (what to tell her writers to write).

As you can see in this video right here, she even has the authority to silence them. And they just must follow her orders... They must accept her as their new world leader. We must all accept her as our new world leader.

That's it folks. The truth is finally out. I shall anticipate Blue's wrath to dawn on my life any day now for sharing this with you all. But it's the price I have to pay to keep y'all in the loop with what's really going on right under our noses. Stay woke.